Where am I going again?

Today is my son's birthday! He's 17 today.  It's hard to imagine that in another year he'll be an 'adult'. Nope, not what I want to think about. He will always be my baby. This little tike toddling around and getting into mischief and then giggling until I can't help but laugh too. Of course, I think all mothers have this issue. But it brings to mind things I don't want to think about; mainly getting older.

Getting older sucks! Everything starts to either hurt or stop working. of course it doesn't help that the last 20 years of my life were spent in an industry where 'unfit' was almost a fashion statement. Living on Mt. Dew and Peanut M&M's was what I did best. I've struggled to change that in the last few years. I'm not actually sure how successful I've been. Some days it's hard to see the forest for the trees. Or in my case, the veggies for the candy bars. 

Ok, I admit it. I am a sugar-aholic. There. I said it. Not that there was ever any question, you know. It was simply a matter of admitting it to myself. I live in denial. Nice place, but it sure is hard to move out. It's fine to tell yourself, "Yep! I love sugar!" but it's another matter entirely to ask yourself, "What am I going to do about it?" My answer for years has been 'I don't know.' and that was end of it. Not any more. I can't afford to live in denial anymore. Damned expensive place!  So...where am I going now? Good question. I know where I want to go I'm just not sure how to get there. Ah, no. I know how to get there I just don't like the road trip. 

Resentment and anger lay in wait for me when I think about giving up sugar. Bastards. Always there in the background like sugar coated demons tempting me to pick up that candy or slice of pizza because 'tomorrow is another day to start over.' Do I really want to end up getting older and wishing I'd just taken life by the horns and done what was good for me? No.

So...

Where am I going again? Well, for starters I'm taking the next few weeks to plan and get my tools in place. Take time to think about what I want and why. To draw up menus and lists of alternative actions. To focus on living my life instead of just watching it slip by. Getting healthy means more than eating right and exercising. It means looking at my life and setting priorities and balancing what I do. Healthy is about more than food.